Jason's Testimony

I went to a "Christian school" all my life and practically grew up in church. I prayed "the prayer" to "accept Jesus into my heart" when I was six, but all throughout my life I was like a whitewashed tomb that looked good on the outside but inside I was still full of hypocrisy (Mt. 23:27). My outside looked fairly good: I went to church several times a week, read my Bible and prayed somewhat regularly, helped the Bible teacher at my high school start a new Bible class called "Ethics", and didn't drink or smoke or cuss or swear. Inside, however, I was full of pride. I played basketball out of selfishness and pride--I enjoyed hearing the crowd cheer. In fact, most of what I did was because I wanted to, not because God wanted me to. I did not consider WHY I did what I did. Jesus reached out to the "outcasts" of society, but I refused to befriend some students because I thought they were "weird". And there were more outward signs of my hypocrisy. For example, I watched more TV than I read my Bible. I had claimed to be a Christian for over 10 years by the time I graduated from high school, but I had not even once read every word in the Bible despite the fact that I claimed to live by every word. It shouldn't take very long for a Christian who is supposed to love God's Word to read all of God's Word. Although still a virgin, I was impure in my dating relationships. I saw movies that God hated. Let me give an extreme example: R-rated films are so wicked that even the ungodly movie-raters tell us that one must be at least 17 to see them. Now, on the less extreme end, all of my forms of entertainment were for MYSELF and not for God. Whether it was video games, movies, music, sporting events, or dating--all these things were done not with the supreme motive of pleasing God, but with the selfish motive of pleasing myself. So while claiming to do "ALL for the glory of God" (1 Cor. 10:31), I did SOME things for God and also things for myself. And so whatever seemingly good things I did were considered as filthy rags in God's sight (Is. 64:6). All these things were symptoms in my life of a heart not right with God. I was not fully committed to him.

A little less than two years after graduation, while attending U of M--Dearborn, someone suggested to me that I read "In His Steps", a book by Charles Sheldon. What hit me hardest were the Bible verses that started several of the chapters. 1 Peter 2:21-22: "To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. 'He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth'." Wow! I was certainly not following in Jesus' steps. I committed sin and deceit was certainly found in my mouth. Another verse that startled me was 1 John 2:6: "Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did." I didn't live anything like Jesus lived. And so, I only made it through about half of "In His Steps"--that was all I needed to read of it; I needed to start getting into my Bible.

I began reading my Bible like I never had before. I got the Bible on cassette and began reading through it several times a year. The Lord showed me that if I wanted to follow him at all, I needed to forsake everything and follow him completely (Luke 14:33). I realized that if I wanted to be accepted as his child, then I needed to "come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you, and you will be my sons and daughters" (2 Cor. 6:17-18). Because of God's great mercy, my reasonable response was to offer my body as a living sacrifice, holy and committed to him; I needed to stop conforming to the world and renew my mind (Rom. 12:1-2).

I came to a Scripture in 1 John 5:13--"These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life." I wanted to know that I had eternal life, so I searched the book of 1 John to find out what the "these things" were. I discovered that "he that committeth sin is of the devil" (1 John 3:8) and that "whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God" (3:9). The Lord also showed me that "we know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says, 'I know him,' but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him" (2:3). Then the Apostle John stated that he and others currently living had confidence on the day of judgment because: "in this world we are like him" (4:17). Of course, I recognized that obeying God is not what saves us, rather, if we truly believe in Christ and if we truly have faith in him, then obedience naturally flows from our faith and his commands do not seem burdensome to us at all (5:1-5). So then it is by grace, through faith that one is saved and not through works so that no one can boast (Eph. 2:8-9).

In light of these and many other Scriptures, I realized that I didn't have true belief or true faith. I gave intellectual ascent to the facts of the gospel, but never really had it in my heart. If I had really believed that Jesus is the Son of God and that by grace he died for me, wouldn't I have made every effort possible to find out more about him and to see if there was anything I could do for him? But I had been one of the many who Jesus said would try to enter and not be able to (Luke 13:23-24) because I was half-heartedly trying and not making every effort. So I repented of my sins, turned from them and became a new creation in Christ Jesus (2 Cor. 5:17)--ALL things were made new. And since then, I have found that it is possible to obey fully all of God's commands, because he always makes a way for me to stand up under every temptation (1 Cor. 10:13). I was made a child of God and experienced firsthand the promises in God's Word that enable me to participate in the divine nature and escape all of the corruption in the world caused by evil desires (2 Peter 1:4). God has given me everything that I need to live a godly life (2 Peter 1:3). Indeed, only those who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God (Rom. 8:14) and being led by the Spirit of God means that you no longer fulfil the desires of the "flesh" (Gal. 5:16). With this newfound faith in Christ, God's grace taught me to be righteous and godly in this present world (Titus 2:11-14). Because of the hope that I have in Jesus, I purify myself just as he is pure (1 John 3:3). With his strength in my (Phil. 4:13; Eph. 119-20), I have ceased to do evil and learned to do right (Is. 1:16-17). God is so good!

In my excitement over my newfound faith, I attempted to share my experience with those around me. I was surprised and saddened by the results. Almost everyone I talked to said that I was going overboard. Many said that I was a fanatic. The Bible says that one MUST "deny himself" (Matt. 16:24) and become a "slave to righteousness" (Rom. 6:18). How, then, is it possible to go "overboard" or be a "fanatic"? Many of my old friends said that I was had actually been "saved" when I had "prayed the prayer" when I was six years old, but I knew the true Gospel of Jesus Christ. I knew that I had at no time in my life surrendered ALL to God. I knew that I had still sinned and therefore was a slave to sin (John 8:34) and that no one truly born of God commits sin (1 John 3:9). In my new life in Christ, I no longer lived for the purpose of being entertained, but for the purpose of doing God's will (1 Cor. 10:31). So when all of my "Christian" friends kept wanting to go out for the purpose of having a good time, I insisted on doing things for the purpose of glorifying God rather than for the purpose of having fun. And of course, I delighted in serving God (Psalm 1:1-2); I always had "fun" serving God, but I didn't do it for the purpose of having fun. Anyway, this was unacceptable to many and so I lost every single one of my "Christian" friends at the time, with the exception of one. The Scripture is true that says, "All who want to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted" (2 Tim. 3:12). Sadly, I have found that many people who claim to have faith live exactly how I used to live and thereby show that they do not have true faith in God. They have just enough of an appearance of godliness, but they deny God's power (2 Tim. 3:5). Jesus said that "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord'...Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers'" (Matt. 7:21-23).

Just as Jesus described the "many" and the "few" (Matt. 7:13-14), so I have discovered that few want to serve God wholeheartedly. The Scriptures are true that describe the many false teachers that will deceive many (2 Peter 2:1-3; 2 Tim. 4:3-4; Matt. 24:4-5, 24). And many people have currently been lulled to sleep, thinking all is well with their souls as they persist in doing their own bidding and not God's. They regard themselves as Christians, and have the outward form of Christianity, but it is only an empty shell, with no power to keep them from sin, no power to cancel their guilt, no power to give them peace of mind or joy of heart, and no power to give them eternal life. "They profess that they know God, but in works they deny Him" (Titus 1:16). They have just enough of the form of Christianity to deceive them, just enough to make them think that all is well between their souls and God, when in fact nothing is well.

I hope that this testimony challenges those who are living half-heartedly, those who are lukewarm as I was. I hope that you will realize that unless you turn from your own ways (Isaiah 55:7) and do God's will, you will never enter the kingdom heaven (Matt. 7:22; Heb. 10:36). "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves" (2 Cor. 13:5). Does your life match up with the characteristics that God's Word says must be present in a Christian?

For those who are wholeheartedly committed to God, I hope that this testimony will encourage you to remain faithful and follow in what God's grace teaches us: to walk righteously and godly in this present world (Titus 2:11-14). I hope that you will persevere in holding firmly to the true gospel of Jesus Christ; "otherwise, you have believed in vain" (1 Cor. 15:2).